Surrender

I am so tired of this fight.
I give up, I surrender.
You win and I give in.
I control nothing,
You control all.

The days are long,
The nights seem endless,
The mornings are horrendous.
I control nothing,
You control all.

This pain is profound,
I try to understand,
I find my answer.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I give up!
I give in...
I surrender to your mercy,
I control nothing,
You control all.

I am tired of the solving.
I am tired of the race.
I am tired of all this emotional drain.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I forgive her for hurting,
Fine, I will let go.
I am so tired of fighting.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I know there is a reason.
I know there is another door.
I know there is more.

But letting go,
Losing control
Giving in,
Searching for hope,
Believing in a dream,
Having faith for another day more.
It is just so hard to believe in hope
When faith is fading thin,
And the time between doors
Seems so bloody dark
With no one to help you in.

I am tired of this fight.
I am tired of this journey.
I just want to know...
I control nothing,
You control all.

I hate uncertainty.
You give situations
In which I can be strong.
The days grow long,
my strength grows thin.
I control nothing.
You are all I have left to believe in.