The Coldest Winter Snow

Anger.
Anger at the truth.
Anger at my self for still being in love with you.
You gave me a ring promising for forever,
Forever is a day to the heart of a fleeting lover.
My own personal run away bride,
Your next boy or gal should by you a pair of Nike sneakers
Your next crush should run and hide.

Pity.
Pity on your soul.
It's all just a game to you,
While you just try to fit this pathetic mold
All the while singing your own sad rendition of the soulful blues.

Try being a woman,
Grow some damn courage.
Live for yourself
Not that serpent of a heartless mother
Who you let devour
Every last bit of your beautiful spirit.

You once told me to grow a spine.
Now I am telling you,
Grow a damn back bone!
Do what you you love,
What you were meant to fucking do.
Do what is good,
Not for everyone else,
But just do it because it pleases you.

You are a better poet than I will ever be,
But some how,
The world will never know,
The world will never see,
Deaf Jam will never hear of you
Because you run and hide,
In your rabbit hole of lies.
So, I ask you this:
Who are you to be judging my life?

You're scared?
Poor baby,
You should have lived a day in my shoes
Back when I was growing up,
You should have spent a day in my life.
Facing fear,
Facing pain,
Facing eviction,
Facing trying to make it another fucking day.
At least I learned how to live and love.
You learned how to survive and change,
live in fear,
Live in chaos,
Live in a prison
Composed of your foolish pride and the desires of other's hate.

Pride is the devil wrapped up in a pretty bowed disguise.
You can be proud and not prideful,
You can be proud and still be strong
When you break down,
When you lose control,
When you start to cry.
Pride and proud are not one and the same.
Pride and proud are different,
Like indifference and hate.

Face the facts,
Courage is not the absence of fear.
Courage is doing what you must
Despite that all consuming ring of terror,
That whisper of self-doubt,
The whisper of "you can't do it,"
Ringing in your ears,
Playing with your mind,
Playing with your fears,
Playing with who you are,
Playing with all the truths you hold dear.

You want to talk brave?
Try stepping up.
I am living my live,
Doing my thing,
Going on with my being,
Doing what I do...
Never giving up to the pain you left on my wounded heart.
I am doing right by me,
While you keep breaking hearts
Because boredom starts to consume
Because you are no longer fully amused.
Because in your mind,
Love is all about you.

Here's a news flash,
Love is selfless.
Love is kind.
It's kind of sad
When you realize the woman you love
May have left you in the cold,
But her veins
Run with blood colder
Than the coldest winter snow.